Penny Stock

I love this stuff!!!

Its got the chof k and all!

Going to the gym?

I think I figured out how to be able to be dressed like a shlump, but not appear to be a shlump. Exercise clothes. I'm comfortable and no one knows I'm just not in the mood to get dressed. In fact, it is quite the opposite, I look like I totally care about my appearance because people assume I am either coming from or going to the gym. Brilliance.

Annoying Tidbits of Today

Warning: This post is about to get completely non-politically correct and probably offensive to some.

It is shocking to me that I work with senior citizens and enjoy it because I completely can not stand them when they are out in the real world (as opposed to in captivity at whichever rehab setting I may be working at at the time).

Here is very annoying anecdote from a Pikesville senior citizens (they are notoriously the worst) today:

I pulled up to a famously long red light (It is an intersection that you have to wait for all four directions to go during one sitting so you can be stuck there for around 5 minutes). Anyway, I decided to call my answering machine while I was sitting there. As I pulled out my cell phone, I noticed a male octogenarian next to me, waving furiously. I thought maybe I had a flat tire or something (which, ironically I did end up having later in the afternoon- on the other side of the car) so I rolled down the window. He started screaming and flailing his arms at me that I should "put that thing away" and that "I was going to kill someone with it."

OK, first of all, last I checked, I was holding a cell phone. Not sure when anyone has ever actually killed someone with a cell phone. But all jesting aside, the main thing is that I was at a very long red light and I was just checking my messages. Besides that, I know this may not be a good answer, but in Maryland it is not illegal to use a cell phone while driving. Ideally, should I have been using an ear piece? Definitely, but as long as that is not the law, I was not violating any of Maryland's wonderful statutes. Therefor, this man really should have just minded his own business.

If I had any guts whatsoever (I never do), I would have yelled at him that he was a lot more likely to kill someone at his age while driving than I was by driving while talking on the phone. I've taken courses on the reduction of peripheral vision as well as the reduced reflexes in the elderly- I am fairly certain that those can't be safe factors in driving. Of course I waited until my window was rolled up to yell this at him (without actually looking at him of course) as well as saying that someone should have taken away his license years ago.

Do me a favor, when I become a mean old lady, just take me to a field very far away, and just leave me there. Thanks in advance.

Kids are so cute

This really isn't turning into a "my kids" blog, but I had to recount (and remember) this.

I decided to go to Toronto with my sister this coming Wednesday. She is flying with her four kids and she wanted help on the plane. We will go to her sister-in-law's wedding and I am bringing Eden. Greg is staying home with Ezra and Gila for 2 days.

Anyway, during dinner, Greg told the kids that we had an exciting announcement to make. I guess Greg figured it was exciting that he would be home alonewith the two older kids and he wanted to make them feel good about it and get them excited as well. So, Ezra got a very happy look on his face and said he knew what we were going to tell him. I innocently asked him what he thought the announcement was. Ezra, with the hugest excited smile asked, "are you pregnant?!?"

Unfortunately we had to break the news to Ezra that that was not our exciting news. The kids were pretty happy about the prospect of having a special sleepover with Dad (although I am not sure why it is any different than any other night- we all sleep in the same house every night, but who am I to lessen children's excitement).

I guess Greg and I learned a lesson tonight. We should always think before we speak and try to look at things from a child's perspective. Pretty funny.

Everyone Should Be Lucky Enough to Have an Older Brother

I'm not (although Master Potemkin (aka maestro poopie) does a pretty good job in that department), but I am so happy my daughters do.

This morning, Eden started crawling up the steps. She really has no clue what she is doing while she is doing it, so I told Ezra to make sure to stand behind her so she wouldn't fall.

Here is what Ezra said to me, "Mom, I will always be behind her, I'm her older brother."

Wow, we should all be so lucky. Hopefully these feeling will continue at least through Gila and Eden dating and getting married:)

I lost on Jeopardy, Baby...

So, I went to Philly for Jeopardy tryouts. First things first, I had a blast. It was so much fun and I can't wait to go again next year (you can try out once a year). The good news is I was by far not the dumbest one there. Not that anyone was really dumb, but I definitely held my own with others.

Here is how it went down. First of all, I will not be discussing any specific questions because there are still people planning on taking the test and we were instructed not to discuss the questions in a public forum- they specifically mentioned blogs and informed us that the producers look for posts on blogs (I sure hope they are using Blogdigger for that!) and they will not be happy if they find reference to actual questions given.

So I got to the Hotel in Philly where the tryouts were being held around a half hour before the test started. I automatically knew who the other Jeopardy wannabees were: They were the ones carrying around the same pieces of white paper with our 5 interesting tidbits written on them, some were reading, most were dressed pretty nicely, and basically everyone looked like they thought they were smart. I felt completely out of my element and I quickly hid that fact book I had been studying from since finding out I was going to go to tryouts. I struck up a conversation with a military man who asked me if I had ever been on TV before. Um, no. He had told me he had once been on the Discovery Channel. Honestly, I didn't care. When it was time to go in, I wished him luck and he responded the same way and then added, "Yeah, until you and I are standing next to eachother in L.A." Yeah, right.

Anyway, we entered the ball room and it basically looked like an SAT testing center. There were long tables with papers with 50 blank spaces and Jeopardy Pens at every seat. I think there were between 50-75 people there. I found an aisle seat and a nice 20 something year old girl sat down next to me. Everyone was a little nervous and hesitant, so basically we were all being on our best behavior. Then the contestant coordinators, Tony and Maggie introduced themselves and things began to get more comfortable. They then showed us a mock game board to explain certain Jeopardy categores like "Before and After", "Rhyme Time", "In quotations", and a few more. Each category had three questions and we were told to raise our hands if we knew the answers. This made me feel great because I knew roughly 85-90% of these questions and they weren't completely easy either!

After that, we watched a short video of Alex Trebek and the Jeopardy Clue Crew that explained the rules of the test. Basically, there were 50 questions, we had 8 seconds to write down each answer to the questions we saw on the monitor that Johnny Gilbert read. We didn't have to answer in the form of a question and spelling didn't count.

We took the test and I knew many of the answers, I guessed on a few, and a few I flat out did not know. I knew the one sports question asked, I didn't know some of the literature, but I surprised myself by being the only one around me who knew the Shakespeare question, I am annoyed at myself for not knowing the question having to do with a movie, but I was happy that I knew the TV one with no problem, I didn't know the obvious potent potable but then again, I don't really drink. When the test was over and we handed it in, the people around me compared answers. I knew a bunch that others didn't know and they knew some that I had no clue on.

We waited around 15 minutes for them to mark the tests and then they announced the four people going to the next round (I was not one of them). Originally they said that there is a certain score you must get to advance and it is always the same but they would not tell us what it was so that we wouldn't get anxious. I am not sure I buy this. I really can't believe that only four people got that magic score that sent them to the next round which by the way is a mock game to show off your personality (or lack thereof).

All in all, it was a fun experience from beginning to end and that includes studying. I will continue to watch Jeopardy religiously and I am serious about trying out again next year. I really don't care if I ever end up on Jeopardy but even this part was fun!

Jeopardy Tryouts

Well, I am going to Philly tommorow for Jeopardy tryouts. A few months ago, on a lark, I signed up on the Jeopardy website for tryouts. A few weeks ago I got an e-mail telling me that I had been chosen (don't worry, I didn't accomplish anything major to get chosen, I just gave my name and e-mail address, home address, and probably some other stuff that anyone could use to steal my identity) to come to Philadelphia to try out. So, I am going.

Basically, here is how it works. I will take a 50 question written test. Each question needs to be answered within 20 seconds. IF, and I repeat IF I pass the test, I will then move on to a mock game. The purpose of this game is to gauge the possible contestants' personalities and see if they can keep the game moving and don't fall asleep at the podium.

I don't expect to get further than the written exam, but I am excited nevertheless. I know a lot of useless information, but I don't think I really know enough. I am doing this purely for the experience and the ability to say that I tried out for Jeopardy. I have been studying from this great book of facts and I have already gained so much from it. If I don't do this tommorow, I will forever be on my couch watching Jeopardy thinking that I could have gone on. I will hopefully update when I come home.

See ya in Hollywood, Trebek (say that in Sean Connery's accent)!

Store Wars

This video for Organic Foods is totally propaganda, but it is cute nevertheless.

I like the Mos Eisley Cantina scene.

(Thanks to Sara for this)

Can You Spell e-u-o-n-y-m?

This post is dedicated to Rebecca Sealfon, the 1997 Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee Champion and my personal hero.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In light of the newest Scripps-Howard National Spelling BeeChampion being named, I had to post a copy of this satirical article from SportsPickle.com about the National Spelling Bee. Enjoy!

Spelling Bee Finalist Eliminated on the Word “Girlfriend"

Christopher Heck, a finalist at last week’s Scripps National Spelling Bee, was eliminated when he was unable to spell the word “girlfriend.” Bee champion David Tidmarsh then clinched the title by successfully spelling “autochthonous,” a word meaning “indigenous.”

Heck, 13, gamely tried to spell “girlfriend” for several minutes, asking its origin (English), definition (“a favored female companion or sweetheart”) and for it to be used in a sentence. Bee Master Michael Winchester provided Heck with the sentence: “You will never have a girlfriend,” prompting the boy to break into tears and run off the stage.

Heck’s mother, Bonnie, who homeschools her three children in the dining room of their Peoria, Illinois home, said this is not the first time her son has been tripped up by a seemingly simple word. “Last year in the Illinois state competition he was knocked out when he failed to spell ‘popularity’ correctly,” she said. “It was a word he had no concept of or experience with.”

Spelling Bee officials say it is an unwritten rule that Bee Masters do not ask spellers words that may have negative emotional connotations for the children. “It is our goal to not upset the children or remind them of their status as social outcasts,” said Beth Riley, director of the Spelling Bee. “That’s why you’ll never see words like ‘dork,’ ‘gayboy,’ ‘nerd,’ ‘wedgie,’ or ‘loser’ in a spelling bee. These kids hear those words enough on a day-to-day basis and don’t need to deal with hearing them in the one place their special talents are celebrated.”

Riley also stated that while such words may be simple for most people to spell, they can provide an enormous challenge to even the best child spellers. “You have to realize what these kids go through each day in school,” she said. “If you ask them to spell an easy word like ‘queerbate’ or ‘retard,’ a lot of them will freeze up because of all the emotional baggage they have tied to a word like that. They’re completely unable to spell it, and many of them will wet their pants upon hearing such words. I’ve seen it happen.”

But Heck said he was unable to spell “girlfriend” simply because the word is foreign to him and because girls think he is weird, not because he is taunted about it. “My mother homeschools me because she says I’m special and that the normal kids at public school would be a detriment to my educational well-being, so I don’t get ridiculed too much – except when my family takes its monthly trip to the shopping mall,” he said. “Then I get my share of abuse if I stray away from mother or father.”

Heck claims the Spelling Bee was only the second time he ever heard the word “girlfriend.” “I once heard it on television when I was staying at my cousin’s house while my mother was giving birth to my little sister, so I know what it means,” he said. “But that was the only time. We don’t have a television at my house because my parents say TV is for proletariat ignoramuses.”

Riley said the Bee Master Winchester has been reprimanded about his choice of context sentence for Heck’s word.” “Not only did he use a word that is a bit risky with most of these kids,” said Riley, “but the sentence he used to describe it was highly inappropriate. I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

“I apologized to Heck about making him cry,” said Winchester. “I didn’t mean to do it, I just couldn’t find the paper with the context sentence, so I simply said what came to my mind first. I looked up at that kid and all I could think was: ‘You will never have a girlfriend.’ I’m sorry he took it so personally.”